The Fabulous Sequel

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
"To the Woman from New Berlin who thinks other countries have more than we do: I've been in Iraq with the Marines, and let me tell you something ... are you afraid to drink the water? You have electricity, right? The grocery stores are full of food, aren't they? And the one thing you take for granted right off the bat, and you probably don't even consider it important - but you’ve even got the right to, and the phone to do it with, call into '30 Seconds' and complain without the fear of persecution or even death. We have it pretty darn good here." -- Man from Plymouth

Saturday, November 20, 2004
Record haul of fake Lego to go up in smoke
HELSINKI, Nov 19 (Reuters) - More than 10 tons of Chinese-made plastic toy bricks will go up in smoke when the largest customs haul of illegal imitation Legos ever seized is incinerated, a Finnish customs official said on Friday.

The bricks were crushed on Thursday and will be burned later to produce energy for the southern Finnish town of Lahti, the customs officer said. Scandinavian environmentalists shouldn't worry: no toxins were found in the toys.

The phoney Legos, totalling more than 54,500 fake sets, were seized by Finnish customs last year en route to Russia, said the Danish company that makes the genuine toys.

Sunday, October 10, 2004
Truth Stranger Than 'Strangelove'
"In its own loopy way, the movie is a remarkably fact-based and specific guide to some of the oddest, most secretive chapters of the Cold War."

Thursday, December 11, 2003
The $3.77 Million Wedding - Trista and Ryan tie the knot on ABC
"Shoe designer Stuart Weitzman, who contributed the $50,000 diamond-and-platinum sandals in which Trista teetered her way to the altar, summarized the madness when he affirmed: 'We want this to be the most expensive bridal shoe ever made. She has good taste.'"

Wednesday, December 03, 2003
"30 Seconds," The Norwich (NY) Evening Sun
"As a former musician and marching band member, I would like someone to explain to me why after watching the field band championships at the Carrier Dome on TV, why so little attention is paid to the size of the percussion line and the fact that they’re not hardly featured at all. It’s one of the most integral parts of the band. Maybe they should have more drum beating and less flag waving." -- Man from Oxford

Sunday, August 31, 2003
Cries of Activism and Terror in S.U.V. Torching
"Whoever broke into the Clippinger dealership in the early hours of Aug. 22 left behind a calling card in addition to the damage. Many of the vehicles were spray-painted with the words 'gross polluter' and 'fat, lazy Americans.' "

Different branch of the family, but it sounds like the ELF knows me....

Friday, November 22, 2002
We have a new record. I first saw the Gap's "Love Train" commercial a mere 16 hours ago. Its saturation airing has already rewired my subconscious to change the channel whenever that wretched song comes on.

I don't know if I could live in my demographic were it not for Tivo....

Friday, November 15, 2002
The Russell-Einstein Manifesto
"Remember your humanity, and forget the rest."

Monday, November 11, 2002
Hunting a Deadly Soviet Legacy (
"TBILISI, Georgia -- In the 1970s, scientists in the former Soviet Union developed scores of powerful radioactive devices and dispatched them to the countryside for a project known cryptically as Gamma Kolos, or "Gamma Ears." Its purpose: to deliberately expose plants to radiation and measure the effects."

Did somebody say tomacco?

Saturday, November 02, 2002
All right, New York Times, listen up. I am going to speak using the simple, direct language normally reserved for the J&R ad on the back page of the Arts and Leisure section. I WANT MY CROSSWORD, AND I WANT IT NOW!

This is the third time in a month that the premium-crossword section isn't accessible right when the Sunday puzzle is released. I've been trying for two hours to get through. It's just not a wild-and-crazy Saturday night without the crossword.

Why, yes, I am unhealthily obsessed. Why do you ask?